Ok. Ok ok ok. *DEEP breath* I’m not pissed off but more lightly irritated with a side of Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
I called last week to schedule my dress alteration for my wedding dress. I bought the dress a year and a half ago at David’s Bridal. I had a REALLY great experience with the girl Danielle who helped me and my mom QueenLadyLuck and one of my besties from highschool Aurica was there with me and it was just really cool.
THIS trip? Not so cool. From all the reviews I’ve read and people I’ve spoken with David’s Bridal gets a general score of SUCKASS on the Shit-TASTIC meter of DOOM. I figure I’m one of the lucky ones in regards to purchasing my dress through them. THANK YOU POWERS THAT BE.
Tonight was short sweet and WTF. I made a separate appointment to get my strapless bra. The coordinator who left me a message today asking me to confirm my Saturday morning appointment told me that while things are slowing up they just finished a mad rush of business and she’s not sure what they have in stock. “Just to be sure you have a bra for your dress fitting I would schedule a separate appointment in the next day or so so that if we DON’T have the size bra you need in stock you can look elsewhere for it and have it in time for your fitting. This is important because we can’t do the fitting without you wearing the bra you will be wearing with your dress.” She reiterated this about three times during our conversation stressing the part about me getting my bra “elsewhere” and all I could think was DAMN lady you work for David’s Bridal what are you trying to say? Well tonight I found out. She was trying to say they don’t know what the hell they are doing or don’t care.
So I ended up making a same day appointment and showed up around 7:30pm and they took me in right away. I always guessed what size bra I wear by how it feels on. I’ve always chosen a 42C and so when the girl asked me I told her then inquired, “I’ve lost weight in the last six months though I’m still wearing the same size bra. I’m not sure if that’s REALLY my size bra so that’s why I’m here to get fitted.” I figured that she’d take my measurements or something vaguely bra wizardy but NO. She looked at me blankly for a moment then said “Well all the bras are pretty true to fit with the regular size you wear so we’ll just get a 42C.”
I then asked her to also bring a 44C just in case sizes ran different and I needed a larger size. I tried on the 42C and there was like TWO full inches of air space (pocket space) between the top of my breasts and the top edge of the cup. THE HELL?!?!?! I’m not trying to store snacks or hobbits in there WTF is up with that space???? So I point it out and she goes “Hmmm yeah I don’t know.” I said, “Well maybe I lost enough weight that I’m a B cup now. Can you get me a 42B?” So she pauses a moment then goes to get it. I try it on and it’s much tighter but still wearable except I’m still experiencing the pocket thing in the boob cups. THE FRELLING HELL?!?! So I point this out to her again. I’m hoping for some sort of professional advice here. I told her “I don’t know what to think. Do I buy inserts to push them up? I don’t think I lost so much weight I’m an A cup! I mean LOOK at these!” and I lifted my boobs at her with both hands.
I was having a serious WTF moment and it’s been the only time I’ve stressed or come close to stressing and standing there in my jean skirt my TA-TA’s lifted in salute to her she says, “Um…let me look and see if we have an A cup.” She leaves and closes the door to the dressing room which is more like a micro closet and I’m standing there and place one hand under my left boob and one hand on top of the left boob. I definitely have two handed boobs. I tried it with my other boob. Yup two hands full. I’m not huge but I’m not small either. I’m a C cup. WHAT THE FUCK? So the “helper” came back and apologizes saying that she didn’t know WHY but they don’t have any A cup bras in stock. I just sighed. My pimp hand was starting to twitch.
She says she wants to go look bras up in the system. She then asks if I want to wait there or if I want to get dressed. I told her I’d wait for her because if she found something in the system that they have in stock I don’t want to get undressed again. So she closes the closet once more. I wait another ten minutes. So now I’m up to 15 mins waiting in a closet that is getting increasingly hot. NO FREAKIN BUENO man. I finally got tired of it and thanks to stretching I was able to reach back and completely undo the entire back hooks and got out of that storage space they called a bra. I gathered them up and went to the front of the store. There were two customers looking in one isle of the store and one lady getting rung up at the register by the girl who was supposed to be helping me. There were two additional employees there standing around talking to each other. Why couldn’t one of them (ANY OF THEM) just tell me “We have absolutely NOTHING.” Or “Bitch nothing here for you.” SHIT anything to let me know I don’t need to stand naked from the waist up in a sauna closet?!?! Freakin dick chokes.
So I set the bras down on the counter. I said “Thank you.” and left. I didn’t even take time to flip her off or the rest of the damn store.
We went to the mall and Victoria’s Secret greeted me warmly and when I asked if they did bra fittings the girl said yes and we discussed what bra I was currently wearing and as she fitted me with a measuring tape on the spot (AWESOME) she told me that they only carry up the a 38 in store but that they have a much larger selection online and the conversation felt INCLUSIVE. I didn’t feel left alone in a closet. She shared with me that she was new to measuring so brought over a veteran Angel and had her double check the measurements. When I shared that it was for my wedding dress they had several recommendations for places to check out in the area for immediate bra purchase and over all it was a good experience and it was confirmed that yes I am a 42C. *relief* The Victoria’s Angels suggested that I need to look at different cuts of bras so there’s that.
We checked out Nordstrom and Soma and finally Lane Bryant but they had nothing. By this point it’s 9pm and we’ve been going non stop since I got off work at 6:30pm. As we were leaving Lane Bryant one of the ladies there came up and started talking to me about my bra needs and she totally hyped up http://www.zovolingerie.com/ having been there herself and so honestly I think I’m going to see if I can get in there before Saturday. For one it’s a lingerie store that deals strictly in the under things and it’s not the first time I’ve head soaring reviews on the place.
My first experience was so good with David’s Bridal that I was hoping for a repeat of it with the bra fitting, but even though they ARE a bridal store it’s not a small bridal boutique and maybe they just don’t know how to measure a woman for a bra or recognize that a two handed sized boob is NOT an A cup. A delicious cream puff is NOT the same size as a Boston Creme Doughnut. BOTH scrumptious but NOT the same size. JEEBUS.
So anyways Sean was a complete and awesome love and took me everywhere we could with the limited window we had. He was worried about my not eating so we stopped for a burrito and he made sure I ate <3 I normally eat by 7pm at the latest but this bra-adventure sucked up my time frame. UGH. I told him that we’d call it a night and that I would look around for places on line and we’d get something by Saturday morning.
I decided that I’m still keeping my alteration appointment with David’s Bridal for right now. This will be a different person than who I dealt with tonight and I’m counting on the fact that they do this sort of thing (dress alteration) on the daily so here’s to hoping that works out. Unless where I go for my bra offers alterations and can get me fitted within this next week. I just figure one thing at a time. Keep the current appointment, secure the bra then see where I’m at and what’s available.
The dress is back at my Mom’s safe n sound. This post is wrapped up and now a little internet zooming before bed.
Oi VEH possums….Oi VEH.