I went back for my one month follow up with my doctor this morning. With my medications back on track this past month I still find that my glucose levels are not down to where they need to be. Though I crashed my glucose levels a few times at work it hasn’t balanced out. I feel a lot of it has to do with my activity level lessening at work and not being out and about as much with the winter weather. It’s not the only thing though. I’ve been wrestling with my carb intake and I mean I’ve been trying to gauge what the right amount of carbs are right for me, for my body and how my own body chemistry works.
When I say “carbs” I’m thinking bread, pasta, rice, potatoes. I feel like it’s been a constant fight and so many times I wanted to just say “FUCK THIS SHIT I’M NOT EATING ANY OF IT!” but my fear is crashing from having my glucose levels too low. I look at what I eat and how much of it and then think “UGH but if I didn’t eat any of that bread (or rice or pasta) I would have probably had fast levels!”
My doctor has talked with me about changing my eating but I wasn’t getting exactly what she meant. I was working on moderation and not really grasping what she was talking about in terms of diet change. She had recommended a book for me and it was one of those things I put on my list that I never got around to.
So this morning I talked with my doctor and she got very specific with me which is what I needed and she said “You do not need those carbs (bread, pasta, rice) to live. You NEVER have to eat those again.” I burst into tears. The tears caught me off guard. Of all my reactions to hearing this crying wasn’t one of them. I know that there are carbs and natural sugars in all food but I wasn’t putting it together. Get the carbs needed from fruits and veggies but the other foods (breads, pasta, rice) just cut them out. I felt like an incredible weight had been lifted off of me. I slowed up on the tears and talked about the frustration I’ve been having trying to balance my fear of crashing my glucose levels and eating right and eating enough.
I attained controlled diabetes last year. I know this is not impossible. I’m thankful and feel lucky in that my doctor is geared to work me off of all my medication entirely. I need to up my physical activity and I have changed my food intake. It felt like a quiet out pouring of “FINALLY”. I had gone in without eating since my glucose levels were so high this morning and when I got home I made myself some scrambled eggs with spinach and dill. Some Gouda on top. I’m actually full and it was delicious.
I’m seeing my doctor in a month and I’m recording my morning glucose levels and I have fantastic DO NOT EAT and EAT THIS lists so there is no guess work involved. The list is too long to list here but basically no more bread, pasta, rice, beans etc. Sounds radical but it’s really not – to me. I’m still a meat eater and veggies and fruit are on the menu. I’m being ware of the types of meat, fruit and veggies I’m taking into my body though.
I’m picking up a new pedometer since I lost my old one. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to remember what I did with my old pedometer but I honestly think I just lost it somewhere. I’m also picking up the book my doctor recommended me – she follows the eating in it and she is very healthy and energetic and this is where I want to be. Dr. Grundy’s Diet Evolution is the name of the book.
My doctor talked to me about the book last year but it looks like it’s right now that I’m starting this. I need to make a grocery list and hit the store later today. I don’t need a butt load of stuff. Sean actually just picked up a bunch of veggies and meats that are aligned with this new eating so that’s a great bonus
I’m hopeful. I’m only taking 10 units of insulin right now and with an increase of physical exercise and the new eating I’m hoping to work my way off of all my medication. This is totally one day at a time. I’m hoping to lose more weight too. I talked with my doctor about weight lifting and she said that walking/steps were the most important but that lifting was great in addition.
What I’m embarking on is changing my body chemistry/metabolism. It’s like clearing out all of the old and setting up a new operating system. I’m really excited. Calm and excited. I feel more like “Ok doing this now.” This is how it is from now on.
It’s a big big change for me. I’m not down playing that at all. I’m just focusing on breathing it in. Solid.